An Open Letter to Former Bare Elegance Dancer "Zee" (Sabrina Zee / Sabrina Fuchs / Sabrina Asay)

Dear Zee (aka Sabrina Zee, Sabrina Fuchs, Sabrina Asay),

It has been over twenty years since I first saw you dancing at Bare Elegance in Los Angeles, and have been wanting to reach out to you and tell you about how meeting and knowing you has been a wonderful, erotic and transformative experience all these years.

I remember back in 1998 going into Bare Elegance for the first time with some friends for a birthday party.  We sat at a table and hung out watching one beautiful lady after the other take the stage.  When I saw you that first night, I was riveted and could not take my eyes off you as you did you dance routine.  I remember your long legs (my God, you were tall), that big blonde, hair, and that sexy look and smile.  You reminded me of an even sexier version of actress Cate Blanchett, and she was a stunning woman. 

Afterwards, the dancers would walk the floor and talk to everyone looking for guys who were interested in lap dances.  I waited, hoping you would make the rounds, but unfortunately you made it over.  I went home completely horny, with enough spank bank material for an evening of masturbation.  That night, I called a phone sex line and told the lady about you, and she role played for me pretending she was you, while I pleasured myself, softly stroking my penis to an intense orgasm.

I visited ZBone's site about strip clubs and noticed that you were doing an interview with him online.  I tuned in and found out that you had a website, zeemost.com.  I went to the site and downloaded your photos, which I've kept on every computer I have to this day. My favorite photo is the one where you're wearing a black leather bra, panties, jacket and thigh high boots, with your legs spread.  I took off all my clothes and there I was, sitting at my desk in front of my computer, naked, with an erection standing straight up with my legs open in the same post, fantasizing about being in the club on stage while you and all the other dancers were watching me perform while I fondled myself in your honor.  I came so hard stroking with my right hand that I had to put my left hand over my mouth because the moans and the screaming proclamation of love I wanted to make to you as I was cumming would have alerted the entire apartment complex I was currently living in.

I remember emailing you through the site and you telling me what nights you were going to be dancing.  Iended going back to Bare Elegance to see you, this time, by myself without my friends. One of the dancers asked me if I was interested in a lap dance and I told her I was waiting and looking for one particular dancer: you.  She ended up telling you and we made eye contact.  I could read your lips when you said "hi" with the a beautiful and sexy smile.  When you came out to dance on stage, I made my way to the edge of the stage to get a good look at you and you did not disappoint.  After you danced you came off stage, found me, and we sat down and chatted for a little bit. Then you asked if I was interested in a lap dance.  Which I was.

You took me back to the private area for a one on one lap dance and I remember vividly every single thing you did to me that night.  You started with using something as non sexual as your shin to rub up against my crotch to get me hard, which worked like a charm.  I still nervous that I might do something in appropriate and you told me to relax.  It was OK to put my hands on your body, just not on your tits or your crotch.  I started by just putting my hands on your hips while you sat on my crotch and dry humped me. Then I held both your hands for what I thought was a more personal or intimate touch.  I have to confess, I was engaing in sexual fantasies about you while you did that to me becuase I was trying to cum in my pants.  I wanted to cum and I wanted to cum for you, but I couldn't get to that point of orgasm with my underwear and pants serving as the barrier between my penis and your beautiful bottom rubbing up against me.  What you did next, put me over the edge.

You got on your knees and faced me.  Taking your hands and rubbing them up and down my thighs.  That got my arousal level higher.  After that, you took your index finger and thumb and rubbed along the outline of my hard penis through my pants.  My God, that felt soooooo good.  But what you did next, totally did it for me.  You untucked my shirt and slipped your hands underneath and up it to tweak my nipples.  The moment you did that I went over the edge.

Feeling your fingers roll across my nipples was absolutely heavenly.  What I couldn't do when you dry humped me happened when you tweaked my nipples.  I came,  HARD.

OH GOD ZEE, I remember moaning when I shot my load in my pants.  At that moment, I didn't care about the mess I made, the wet spot in my pants that was visible to everyone or what I would do afterwards.  I was so into you and felt so out of body by the orgasm you gave me.  When we were done, you left my shirt untucked so it would cover the big wet cum stain in my crotch.  I didn't feel ashamed or self conscious about it. 

To this day, I still think about that lap dance and everything you did to me.  I still have your pictures, and even found a video of you dancing from Playboy's Strip Search.  I still look at and watch them and fantasize about you when I masturbate.  There are a couple goto sexual fantasies I have about you that I'll write and post here on Literotica or elsewhere.  Since that night, nipple play has always been part of my masturbatory routine and I love how it feels.  Thank you for helping me discover that sexual tweak about my body.

I've been wanting to tell you how meeting you has been such a powerful erotic experience for me and I haven't forgotten it. I've always wondered what your life has been like since.  I imagine you stopped dancing at some point and did something else with your life.  I hope you find this letter and read it.  Maybe someway somehow we can connect again and I can hear about your live wnat what you've been doing since your days at Bare Elegance.

Love,

Brad 

Liberte Chan

Even if it's early in the AM, can't beat a black beaded dress @KTLAMorningNews @AidanMattox @PistolandStamen pic.twitter.com/HYy1KUMYH1

— Liberté Chan (@libertechan) May 14, 2016

2016 Eagles Cheerleaders Final Auditions (4/5/16)

Fox 11 Reporter Lisa Breckenridge Blowing Kisses to Me While I Masturbate to Her

#kisses from my family to yours! 󾠣󾠣󾠣 #HappyValentinesDay

Posted by Lisa Breckenridge on Sunday, February 14, 2016

Transactional Writing: Letters that Heal

Reprinted from https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/write-yourself-well/201403/transactional-writing-letters-heal

Transactional Writing: Letters that Heal
Forgiveness, compassion, empathy, and gratitude are healing.

“What is healing, but a shift in perspective?” Mark Doty, Heaven’s Coast TRANSACTIONAL WRITING or letter writing gets you beyond what you thought you could not get over.

With all the other ways of communicating digitally, we may have lost touch with the power of letter writing to change our lives, but it is still a powerful tool, even in the form of an email.  So ask yourself: Do you owe someone a letter? Or maybe you are waiting for a letter that is never going to come? Maybe you should sit right down and write yourself a letter. Letter writing can be therapeutic for the writer as well as the receiver, and it may be just the thing to help you change perspective.

As described in Expressive Writing: Words that Heal, Transactional writing is more formal than expressive writing although the content may be as personal as expressive writing. Outside the context of writing to heal, Transactional writing often occurs in various professions or business and offers an exchange of some value, meets the expectations of another, or completes an obligation. For the sake of writing-to-heal, a guiding principle is that your Transactional Writing takes care of the business of your emotional life, whether new business or unfinished business, in order to express compassion, asking or grantingforgiveness, empathy or gratitude.

Purpose and Audience

The purpose of Transactional Writing is to complete an exchange of thoughts, beliefs, and feelings with someone else. Although for your transactional writing, you may also consider some aspect of yourself as an audience. For instance, you may write a letter of compassion, empathy or gratitude to your former self, to your future self, or to another aspect of yourself. Many writers do this, but most write to someone else, a friend, a family member, or a significant other. Sometimes participants write to an authority figure, sometimes to a stranger who played an important role in an experience.

Observing Conventions

Unlike Expressive Writing, Transactional Writing observes some of the common conventions of letters, like a greeting and a closing. In the act of writing any letter, the writer intentionally becomes conscious of another person, and this awareness to a large degree, influences word choice, word order, even the punctuation and sentence structure. So, to a greater extent than expressive writing, Transactional Writing observes language and style conventions like grammar, spelling and punctuation as much as the writer is able.

Unsent or Sent

Do not worry about sending the letters you write. In fact, it might be smart to not send the letters you write for this exercise. This exercise is ultimately for your mental health and not the intended recipient’s. If, after finishing the exercise and taking a few days off, go back and look at your letters and reconsider if sending the letters would ultimately be beneficial for others and for you.

Shifting Perspective

Keep in mind, a guiding principle of Transactional Writing is to become conscious of another’s perspective. A defining characteristic of Transactional Writing is to communicate a message. Don’t let a concern for conventions become your immediate or primary focus. Instead, concentrate on communicating your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, opinions, and judgments to another. You are encouraged to write as many drafts of your letter as you wish, so don’t worry about writing a perfect first draft. 

Read the five options below and choose the one that serves your purposes best.  Or you may decide to combine elements from each option, but you only need to write one letter for this assignment.  Of course if you just can't resist doing all of them, then go for it.

Choice # 1 - The Compassionate Letter 
Imagine if someone you love, your closest friend, your child, your partner, or your significant other had suffered some trauma or traumas
In a compassionate and respectful way, write a letter with what advice would you have for them from your experience?  You might also:

• Write about what you wish you had known but learned and what you imagine that they might be able to learn from the event? 
• Or write about what ways you are now growing and they may also grow.  
• Or write about any way that there was a benefit to the crisis?  
• Or write about what your loved one might have learned about himself or herself from going through this difficulty?  
• Or you may write about all the above.  
As you continue to respond to your loved one, write encouraging words of hope, comfort and advice.  

Transactional Writing Choice #2 - The Empathetic Letter

Symbolically take your leave of the past and move forward by composing a letter to yourself or to someone else involved in a distressing event, Try to understand why this person did, said, or acted the way they did. You aren’t saying what happened is right, just or fair, but are instead trying to understand and empathize. Start from the assumption that the person isn’t a bad person, but just did something that hurt you or that you don’t understand.

* What could they have been thinking?
* What could have happened to them in the past to make them do what they did?
* What could they have felt as they did it, and what did they feel afterward?
* How do they feel now?

After you finish writing, go back and change or add anything you want.  Rewrite as necessary until your letter is as good as you can make it.  

Transactional Writing Choice #3 – The Gratitude Letter

Write a letter to someone in your life that you would like to thank for something they gave you, or something they taught you, or something they have inspired in you. Get right to the point and don’t apologize for not writing before now. Imagine how the recipient may feel when they read your letter. Describe your relationship with the person you are thanking and the context for this occasion. Describe the gift that you received, the skill you learned, or the inspiration you received from knowing them.
* Tell them what their gift meant to you when you received it.
* Tell them how you felt about it then and now.
* Tell them how you have been able to use this gift or the skill or the inspiration you received from them.
* Tell them how your life has been enriched by what you have received from them and for their presence in your life.

Transactional Choice #4 – Granting Forgiveness Letter

Write a letter to someone in your life that you need to forgive for something they did or said or did not do or did not say. (Or write a forgiveness letter to yourself if there is something you did that you wish to forgive yourself for doing or saying. If you are writing to forgive yourself, write as if you were another person. Write in the second person, “you.”) Before writing think about the specific situation where you were treated badly by another person. Recall how you felt before, during, and after the event. Imagine how the other person felt and why they felt that way. Work toward not demonizing the other person remembering instead that they are humans with fears, insecurities, and stories of their own. When you begin writing, write words that describe your deepest emotions and thoughts concerning this event in your life. Mention briefly what led up to the event. Focus more on the other person or people who are responsible for what happened. What do you think was going on in their life at the time? How do you think they feel about it afterward? What will it take for your to forgive them? Explore what being able to forgive them means to you and to them. As always, write continuously in an uncensored way.

Choice # 5 – Asking Forgiveness Letter

Before writing, think about something that you have done in the past that caused someone else emotional pain. Think carefully about what led up to the event, what was going on in your mind at the time, and how you felt afterward. Imagine how the other person felt and what he or she may have felt and what they may have thought. Briefly describe what happened, but focus on the other person’s thoughts and feelings. If you can, express your sorrow and write out an apology. Don’t use your writing to justify your actions, but include if you can what it might take to make amends with this person, their family and friends. As always, write continuously and write in an uncensored way.

A Paper Sacrifice

When your letter is as perfect as you can make it, it is a perfect sacrifice for moving ahead symbolically. Taking care for safety, create a ritual for burning your perfect paper sacrifice – symbolically releasing all that it represents. Watch your letter burn. Watch the paper become ashes. Watch the smoke rise from the paper. Know that the materials of the ink and the paper have returned to the basic elements. No matter has been created or destroyed, but its shape has changed, and that can make all the difference.

Expressive Writing: Words that Heal (2014) James W. Pennebaker and John F. Evans, Idyl Arbor, Inc. 

The Party, starring Jacky St James

My therapist Karen was having a private party, and with the guests that she was expecting, thought that I might be interested in attending and extended an invitation.  I arrive at her house and she invites me in.  The party has been going on for a little more than an hour and there are plenty of guests already there, all famous, all beautiful men and women.  Among her guests are various members of the media in the form of newscasters, several actors and actresses on the "B" and "C" list, and adult film stars.

"Make yourself at home.  Can I get you something to drink?" Karen says to me.

I ask for a beer and Karen comes back with a Corona and hands it to me.  I walk around and try to work the room, but I'm a bit shy around all of these beautiful people that I don't have the nerve to strike up a conversation with anyone.  I'm standing alone away from everyone just watching the people when Karen walks up to me.

"I noticed you're not mingling or talking to anyone?  What's wrong?" Karen asks me

I tell her that I don't seem to fit in and can't talk to anyone.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Brad.  Is there anyone here that catches your eye?" she asks.

I nod towards one particular woman.  "Over there." I tell her.

"Oh that's Jacky St. James, the adult film director."

"I know all too well."  I mention to Karen.  "I've seen a lot of her films.  I wish she starred in her films.  She's sexier than the girls in her films."

"Brad, I know you're shy and I'm sorry that you're not having a good time.  If you'd like, you can go upstairs if you'd like a little alone time.  The guest room upstairs is empty."

I decide to take Karen up on her offer.  "Thank you, I'd like that."

"The guest room is the second door on your right.  There are plenty of items in the top dresser drawer for your self soothing."

I go up the stairs and into the second door on the right, the guest room.  I open the door and turn on the lights.  The room is nicely decorated with a queen size bed, a love seat, small desk, a flat screen tv with a webcam mounted to the top and a computer off to the side on the desk.  I open the top dresser drawer to find a variety of sex toys and aid: dildos, vibrators, masturbation sleeves, condoms, oils, lotions, lubricants, anything and everything you can imagine.

I go to the thermostat to warm up the room a bit since it is a little cool.  As the room starts to warm up, I begin taking my clothes off and neatly setting them on the love seat.

I turn on the computer and do a Google search for Jacky St James and find a few videos on YouTube of her being interviewed.  One catches my eye as I click on it and put it on the flat screen.  My God, she looks so beautiful and sexy.  She's not even naked and my penis is getting erect from just looking at her.  I sit down on the bed with a bottle of KY and put a drop the size of a dime in the palm of my right hand and start to stroke my penis while I watch Jacky on the tv.

After about 5 minutes I hear a soft knock on the door and the door open slightly as someone peeks in.

"Hello.  Brad, are you in here?  It's Jacky St. James.  Karen told me you were up here and said you might like some company."

I'm a little flustered as Jacky walks in and closes the door behind her.

"Hi" she says with a big smile as she's looking at me completely nude with my penis in my hand watching her interview on the tv.  "I hope you don't mind that I came in.  Karen told me about you and I wanted to see and meet you."

I'm a little flustered and embarrassed that Jacky is seeing me in this position and I try to hide myself even though there's no place to hide.  "Uh, yeah. OK."  I stammer.

Jacky giggles.  "Sweetie, there's no need to be embarrassed.  I direct porn, remember.  I've seen a whole lot more than what I'm looking at now."

Jacky walks over to the bed and sits next to me as she starts talking to me.

"Karen tells me you like to masturbate a lot and you have had fantasies about me.  You're a very good looking man and you don't need to feel shy around me"

Jacky gently places her left hand on my right shoulder and her right hand on top of mine as I slowly run it up and down the shaft.  She's feeling the rhythm of how I'm stroking myself.

"You like it slow and gentle when you fondle yourself?" she asks me.

"I'm just trying not to cum right away.  I'm so turned on." I tell Jacky.

"Karen tells me you don't have a girlfriend.  I'm surprised.  I'd think a lot of women would go for a guy like you."

"I'm very shy around women Jacky." I tell her.

"Really?  You don't seem shy to me.  You're sitting here naked next to me while you're stroking yourself"  Jacky tells me.

"I like it that you're watching me and I like being nude in front of you Jacky.

I also enjoy your company.  I've never had that before." I tell her.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying Brad?"  she asks.

I look down and tell her "Yes."

Jacky's jaw drops in amazement and disbelief.  "How old are you Brad?"

I tell her my age and she's shocked.

"Bradley, take your hand off your cock."

I take my hand off my penis as it stands at full attention in front of her.

Jacky stands up and stands in front of me as she starts to remove her clothes.

First she unbuttons her blouse and lets it slide off her arms to the floor.

Then she pushes her skirt down past her hips as that slides down to the floor.

She steps out of her skirt and removes her shoes, standing in front of me in only her bra and panties.  Jacky then removes her bra to reveal a beautiful pair of breasts.  Finally, she hooks her thumbs into her panties, pushes them down as she bends forward towards me.

Jacky leans in and gives me a soft, tender kiss as she continues to push down her panties to reveal her beautiful pussy.  She then leans towards my right ear and whispers to me.

"Sweetie, I'm going to take your virginity tonight."

Jacky gives me another kiss, this time with a little more passion and some tongue.  The takes holds my hands as she guides me towards the center of the bed as she lies down on the bed next to me.  Jacky grabs two pillows and places them underneath her as she gets comfortable.

Jacky spreads her legs and motions to me to move between them.  I'm on my knees between Jacky's legs.  Now Jacky motions me closer so she can reach me.  Once I get close enough, Jacky sits up slightly and places her hands on my hips as she guides me in towards her.  I look down as I see the tip of my penis just inches away from the lips of her vagina.  Jacky looks up at me, smiles and asks me a simple question.

"Are you ready Brad?"

All I can do is nod, because no words are coming out of my mouth.  She guides my hips forward and my penis slides right into her pussy.  I let out a sigh and a soft moan as Jacky pulls me down towards her.  I'm now looking at Jacky eye to eye in an intense gaze with a look of pure awe.

"Looks like someone isn't a virgin anymore." Jacky says as she smiles at me.  Jacky and I kiss intensely as I'm mounted on top of her in missionary position, slowly rocking my hips into her body.  Our bodies are pressed together.  I can feel my nipples harden just by the touch of her body to mine, and the feeling only gets more intense when my nipples touch hers.

"Oh Jacky" I whisper.  That's all I can get out with my excitement and my breathing as rushed as it is.  I push my hips into her body, putting all of my sexual frustration, all of my lust, all of my love, all of my desires into every thrust.

As my excitement and intensity increases, so does my breathing.  I'm kissing Jacky on her mouth, chin, cheeks, breasts and nipples as she runs her fingers through her hair.  I feel her hands on my back and even her fingers dig into my back a little.  The feelings are so wonderful and enjoyable that it adds to my arousal.  My breathing begins to get even faster and more labored as I'm beginning to feel my orgasm building up.

Jacky pulls away from a kiss and holding my head in her hands looks into my eyes and asks me a simple question.

"Are you about to cum Brad?"

I can't say anything because I'm breathing so hard.  All I do is nod my head.

"Don't pull out Brad.  Cum inside of me."

Within seconds I can feel that same intensity between my legs that I've felt so many times when I've masturbated.

"Oh God Jacky, I can't hold it any more." I tell her.

"That's OK Brad, just let it go, let the feeling run through your entire body."

At that moment I cum inside of Jacky.

"OH JACKY I'M CUMMING!!"

Jacky takes her legs and wraps them around my upper thighs so I can't pull out.

"That's it, don't hold back.  It's OK."

My orgasm seems to last forever and it is the most intense feeling I've ever had.  It's better than any masturbation session I've had.  I can feel my penis pumping semen into Jacky, one pump after another.  I didn't think I had that much cum left after masturbating earlier that day.

Shortly after I cum, Jacky reaches orgasm.  Her breathing, also labored and fast, tells me she's there too.  I was so involved and worried about prematurely ejaculating that I wasn't picking up on Jacky's excitement.  I start to notice her breathing and moaning and within seconds after my orgasm, Jacky has one of her own.

As our orgasms subside, I continue to lie on top of Jacky, smiling and looking into her beautiful eyes.  I kiss her with all sorts of passion.

"Jacky, that was incredible."

"I'm flattered and honored that I was your first." she tells me.

"I'm happy that it was you."  I tell her.

Jacky and I lie in bed, cuddling and talking when there's a knock on the door.  The door opens and it's Karen.

"Hi, I wanted to check in to make sure things were going ok." says Karen.

"Everything is wonderful."  I tell Karen as I'm holding Jacky in my arms under the covers.

"I'm glad to hear that." Karen says with a smile.  "Most of the guests are leaving, but you're welcome to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you Karen." Jacky says.

"Let me know if you need anything." Karen says as she walks out the door.

I look over at Jacky and kiss her.

"How long did you want to stay?" I ask.

"I was thinking we have the whole night to be in each other's company.  And you've got a lot of catching up to do."

Taylor Swift in Cosmopolitan